Episode 176 - The Beam in My Eye
Welcome to Episode 176 of the Seasons of Joy Podcast
When we take the time to gain awareness around our reactions, we can learn more about ourselves. It isn't always easy work, but it's important work if we want to create a life and have relationships that we love.
Today, I'm sharing a story about a woman at a restaurant who was behaving badly. But here's the twist: the real story isn't about her behavior at all. It's about what her behavior revealed in me. Join me as we explore what happens when we get curious about our reactions instead of just critical of others.
A Vacation Observation
This happened recently while I was on vacation with my husband and some of our friends. We were at this lovely farm-to-table restaurant in Mexico, sitting together and enjoying our meal. The restaurant had an open layout, so I could see most of the dining room from where we sat.
And that's when I noticed her.
The Woman at the Corner Table
There was a woman sitting facing my direction at a table kitty corner from us who, from what appeared to be her husband, was clearly unhappy. And I began to notice the way she was interacting with their server.
At one point she waved her salad away as the server removed it from the table. She was definitely irritated. You could see it in her body language. In the way she dismissed him with her hand. Then when the server stopped by again, she sent her glass away with him, pointing down at the drink menu and complaining about how he hadn't brought her the correct chardonnay.
She continued complaining to her husband loud enough that I could hear snippets of her frustration.
At one point she said, "I'm not being unreasonable," and then continued on with her complaints. Over the next little while, two other individuals came to the table. I believe one was a manager, and I heard him say, "Thank you so much for your feedback."
My Internal Reaction
And in my mind I was thinking, "Are you crazy? She is being so rude."
Finally, the server came back with a new glass of wine. She looked at him and she said, "We are leaving," and she brushed him off. He nodded his head and he walked away. Then she sat there and she proceeded to drink half of the wine she ordered and half of her husband's, and they walked out of the restaurant.
The Real Story: Looking Inward
Now, here's where the story gets interesting. Because this isn't really about that woman at all.
This is about me and what I discovered when I got curious about my own reaction to her behavior. When I stopped focusing on judging her actions and started examining why I was so bothered by them.
What was really happening inside me? What was her behavior triggering? And more importantly, what could this reveal about my own patterns, beliefs, and areas for growth?
The Invitation to Self-Awareness
This is the work I'm inviting you into today. It's not about being critical of others. It's about using our reactions as a mirror to understand ourselves better.
When someone else's behavior bothers us, irritates us, or gets under our skin, that's valuable information. Not about them, but about us. About what we value, what we fear, where we're carrying shame or judgment, and where we have opportunities to grow.
Creating the Life You Love
This is the kind of awareness work that allows us to create a life and relationships we truly love. Not by controlling others or judging their choices, but by understanding ourselves more deeply and choosing our responses with intention.
What recent reaction have you had to someone else that might actually be revealing something important about you?
Listen to the full episode to hear the rest of this story and dive deeper into the self-awareness work that can transform how you show up in your relationships.
Keywords: self-awareness, emotional intelligence, personal growth, midlife awakening, life coaching, emotional reactions, judgment, self-reflection, mindfulness, relationship dynamics, personal development, seasons of joy podcast
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About the Host: Jill Pack is a certified faith-based life + relationship coach and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She helps women of faith navigate their seasons of life with greater purpose and joy including how to transform conflict into connection. For more resources or to work with Jill, visit www.seasons-coaching.com.
