Episode 152 - Cookies and Perspective
What My 4-Year-Old Taught Me About Joy
A powerful lesson on emotional resilience and the true nature of joy from an unexpected teacher.
The Day Happiness Returned
Over the last few years, I've reflected deeply on the power of perspective and how it helps us navigate life with hope and joy. Today, I want to share a story that transformed my understanding of happiness.
When my youngest daughter, Jenna, was about 4 years old, she struggled with sitting still and focusing. She attended a small preschool in our town of Mendon, Utah, run by a neighbor from her home. Jenna was naturally social and friendly—traits she still carries with her today at nearly 24.
Usually, our preschool routine was simple: drop-off and pick-up, with Jenna typically skipping both ways. But this particular day was different.
A Moment of Sadness
When I arrived to pick her up, everything had changed. She walked slowly, head hanging low, sadness evident on her little face. As she climbed into the car, I asked about her day.
Looking down, she explained it wasn't good—she'd gotten in trouble with the teacher and had been asked to sit out in the hall.
"Oh, sweetheart," I said. "I can tell you're feeling really sad about this."
As a mother of five, I'd begun to learn not to sweat the small stuff. I knew Jenna's character and understood she simply couldn't sit still that day. The consequence had already happened, so I suggested making cookies at home. Still looking down, she nodded.
The Surprising Revelation
At home, I sat her on a stool next to the counter. As I gathered ingredients, her dejected look pulled at my heartstrings. But after a few minutes, I noticed her looking around the kitchen, her mind working.
While mixing cookie dough, I realized Jenna had disappeared. I heard her in her bedroom, talking to herself. Soon, she emerged with an armful of toys, chattering away. She set them on the stool and played for a few seconds.
Then something remarkable happened. She stopped, looked at me with the most surprised expression, and exclaimed: "I'm happy!"
The Lesson Learned
In that moment, I realized Jenna had believed—with her four-year-old understanding—that she wouldn't be happy again, that sadness was permanent. When happiness returned, she recognized the difference and learned that emotions don't last forever.
I've reflected on this simple story often as I've deepened my understanding of emotions and perspective. Even as adults facing life's challenges, we sometimes believe happiness won't return. We may feel we aren't who we should be, or our life isn't what it should be, believing external circumstances determine our happiness.
The Deeper Truth About Joy
While this story doesn't reflect the heaviness many experience—the pain, heartbreak, and trauma—it teaches a powerful lesson about focus and choice. As Jenna's attention shifted to play—the part she could control—she began creating happiness in her small, four-year-old way.
This revelation changed my belief about joy. I once thought joy meant the absence of negative emotions—being happy all the time. But I've realized joy isn't about constant happiness. It's about the contrast life brings.
Little Jenna wouldn't have understood happiness without feeling sadness first. The contrast helped her—and now helps me—see that joy comes from experiencing both positive and negative emotions. Without sad times, we wouldn't fully appreciate happy ones.
Embracing the Full Spectrum
When we allow ourselves to feel all emotions, the contrast brings beauty and richness to our lives. It's like understanding that a painting needs both light and shadow to have depth. Similarly, our lives need both happiness and sadness to have meaning.
True joy comes not from avoiding difficult feelings but from embracing the whole spectrum of human experience. Jenna's simple moment of surprise at being happy again taught me that our capacity for joy is actually deepened by our experiences with sadness.
Want More Clarity?
Are you ready to take it to a deeper level? Jill would love to be your coach!
Click HERE to learn about all the ways you can work together!
Click HERE to schedule a FREE Clarity Conversation with Jill.
Click HERE to check out her FREEBIES!
Click on the following links to learn more about Seasons Coaching and the Seasons of Joy Community Facebook Group.
To contact Jill about speaking to your group or business, email her at jill@seasons-coaching.com.
Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and rate and leave a review! Help spread these tools!
About the Author: Jill Pack is a certified faith-based life + relationship coach and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She helps women of faith navigate their seasons of life with greater purpose and joy. For more resources or to work with Jill, visit www.seasons-coaching.com.
