Episode 178 - Anxious to Anchored: Gratitude’s Grounding

What If Anxiety Isn't the Enemy?

I recently led a workshop on gratitude and anxiety, and the conversations that emerged were so transformative I knew I had to share this message more widely. The premise challenges everything we've been taught about anxiety: What if we've been approaching it all wrong? What if, instead of viewing anxiety as something to fear and defeat, we learned to see it differently?

Here's the truth many of us have internalized: If we're feeling anxious, something has gone wrong. There's something wrong with us. We need to fix it, fight it, or make it go away.

But what if that framework itself is keeping us stuck?

The Real Purpose of Anxiety: Your Nervous System's Gift

What if anxiety is actually trying to teach us something important?

Welcome to the Seasons of Joy podcast. I'm Jill Pack, and this is episode number 178, From Anxious to Anchored.

Understanding Your Racing Mind

Have you ever found yourself lying in bed at night with your mind racing, unable to turn off the endless stream of thoughts? Maybe you're anxious about a conversation you need to have with one of your adult children. Maybe you're worried about how it's going to go. Perhaps you're playing out all the scenarios in your head, and most of them aren't very good. Maybe your heart is beating fast, your stomach is tight, and you just feel this heaviness in your body.

Here's what's actually happening: Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you're feeling. You don't need to fight it off or push it away. You just need to soften it. You need to be curious about what it's trying to tell you.

Reframing Anxiety: From Monster to Messenger

So that's what we're going to talk about today: Gratitude as a spiritual tool to tame anxiety. Not to eliminate it, but to soften it, because anxiety is part of being human. We want to understand what it's really trying to tell us.

Let me ask you this question: What do you even think anxiety is?

I used to think anxiety was this monster I needed to defeat. Something bad. Something that was wrong with me. But the reality is, anxiety is just an emotion. And emotions are just labels for the sensations happening in our bodies.

The Mind-Body Connection

When we experience anxiety:

• Our minds may race with worst-case scenarios

• Our hearts may beat faster

• Our stomachs may tighten

• We may feel heaviness throughout our bodies

• We may experience shortness of breath or tension

These physical sensations are real, but they're not dangerous. They're your body's way of communicating with you.

The Truth About Managing Anxiety

Here's the paradigm shift that changes everything: You cannot manage anxiety by trying to control external circumstances.

How many times have you thought:

• "If I could just get this conversation to go well, then I won't feel anxious"

• "If I could just control what my adult child does, then I'll feel better"

• "If I could just make sure everything works out, then the anxiety will go away"

This approach keeps us trapped in a cycle of trying to control things outside our control, which only amplifies our anxiety.

Click here to learn more about anxious to anchored.

Gratitude: The Spiritual Tool to Tame Anxiety

This is where gratitude becomes powerful. Not as toxic positivity or a way to bypass your feelings, but as a spiritual tool that softens anxiety and helps you hear what it's truly saying.

Why Gratitude Works

Gratitude doesn't eliminate anxiety because, again, anxiety is part of being human. But gratitude:

1. Grounds you in the present moment instead of catastrophizing about the future

2. Shifts your focus from what you can't control to what you can appreciate right now

3. Softens your nervous system by creating space between stimulus and response

4. Reveals the wisdom your anxiety is trying to share with you

The Practice: Getting Curious Instead of Combative

Instead of fighting your anxiety, try this approach:

When you notice anxiety arising, pause and ask:

• "What is this anxiety trying to tell me?"

• "What do I need right now?"

• "What can I be grateful for in this very moment?"

This isn't about pretending everything is fine. It's about creating enough space to hear the message beneath the noise.

From Reaction to Response: The Power of Anchoring

When we're anxious, we're typically projecting into an uncertain future, playing out scenarios that haven't happened and may never happen. Gratitude anchors us back to what's actually true right now.

Before the Difficult Conversation

Let's return to that example of lying in bed, anxious about a conversation with your adult child.

The anxious approach: Play out every possible negative scenario, try to plan and control the outcome, lose sleep worrying about what might happen.

The anchored approach:

1. Notice the anxiety without judgment: "I'm feeling anxious right now"

2. Get curious: "What is this anxiety trying to protect me from? What do I care about here?"

3. Ground in gratitude: "I'm grateful I care enough about this relationship to feel nervous. I'm grateful for this moment of quiet to prepare. I'm grateful I get to show up authentically."

4. Return to the present: "Right now, in this moment, I am safe. Right now, I have what I need."

The Difference Between Suppression and Softening

It's crucial to understand: This is not about suppressing or bypassing your anxiety.

Suppression says: "Don't feel this. Push it down. Pretend it's not there."

Softening says: "I see you, anxiety. I hear you. What are you trying to tell me? And while I listen, I'm also going to anchor myself in what's true and good right now."

Your Invitation: From Anxious to Anchored

Anxiety doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means you're human. It means you care. It means your nervous system is trying to keep you safe.

But you don't have to stay trapped in the racing thoughts and worst-case scenarios. You can learn to quiet the noise enough to hear what anxiety is really saying. You can anchor yourself in gratitude—real, grounded gratitude—that acknowledges both the uncertainty and the good that exists right now.

Moving Forward

The next time you feel anxiety rising:

1. Don't fight it. Notice it with compassion.

2. Get curious. What is it trying to tell you?

3. Anchor in gratitude. What is true and good right now?

4. Soften. Take a deep breath and create space between the feeling and your response.

This is how we move from anxious to anchored. Not by eliminating anxiety, but by changing our relationship with it. Not by controlling external circumstances, but by grounding ourselves in what we can know and appreciate right now.

Listen to the Full Episode

Want to dive deeper into this conversation? Listen to Episode 178 of the Seasons of Joy Podcast where I share more about using gratitude as a spiritual tool for managing anxiety and finding peace in the midst of uncertainty.

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About the Host: Jill Pack is a certified faith-based life + relationship coach and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She helps women of faith navigate their seasons of life with greater purpose and joy including how to transform conflict into connection. For more resources or to work with Jill, visit www.seasons-coaching.com.