Episode 156 - Childlike vs. Childish Part 2: Purposeful Play & Adaptability
Are you a woman navigating the complexities of midlife, feeling like you've lost touch with joy and flexibility? You're not alone. As we mature, we often abandon the natural playfulness and adaptability that once came so easily to us as children. But what if I told you that reclaiming these qualities could transform your middle years into a season of unprecedented growth and fulfillment?
The Hidden Wisdom of Child's Play
Why Play Matters More Than You Think
We often dismiss play as something frivolous—a luxury we can't afford in our busy adult lives. But research reveals that play isn't what happens when children finish learning; it's their most important educational system, designed by divine wisdom to develop crucial life skills.
Through play, children naturally develop:
Working memory - the ability to juggle multiple pieces of information while actively participating
Cognitive flexibility - mental agility to adapt to new scenarios and changing rules
Problem-solving skills and creativity
Communication abilities including storytelling and abstract thinking
Emotional regulation and coping mechanisms
Social skills like cooperation, negotiation, and empathy
Physical coordination and motor skills
These foundational skills become the bedrock of adult success. Yet somewhere along the way, we've convinced ourselves that play is unproductive or even selfish.
The Adult Play Revolution: Four Essential Functions
1. Restoration: Recovering Your Energy
Adult play serves as a powerful antidote to modern stress. Consider how different activities can restore different aspects of your well-being:
Desk workers might find restoration in hiking groups, shifting from spreadsheets to movement and nature
Physical laborers could benefit from pottery classes, using different muscles while finding mental quiet
High-stress professionals might discover peace in puzzle-solving, engaging detailed focus without work-related pressure
Those facing life transitions could find emotional reset through gentle yoga practice
The key is choosing play that complements rather than mirrors your daily stressors.
2. Enhancement: Growing Your Capabilities
Play isn't just about relaxation—it's about expansion. Modern adult play can:
Maintain neuroplasticity through language apps like Duolingo
Develop creativity through cooking classes with new cuisines
Improve coordination via dance lessons (tap dancing, anyone?)
Enhance critical thinking through book clubs discussing complex themes
Build presentation skills through performance-based activities
3. Connection: Deepening Relationships
In our increasingly isolated world, play provides natural opportunities for meaningful connection:
Ballroom dancing with your partner creates new forms of intimacy beyond daily routines
Family game nights foster laughter and healthy competition
Craft days with extended family build intergenerational bonds
Monthly friend lunch dates provide space for authentic sharing and celebration
Community volunteer service combines purpose with camaraderie
Neighborhood softball leagues strengthen community ties through shared experiences
4. Perspective: Maintaining Joy and Meaning
Play helps us step back from life's intensity and remember what truly matters:
Spontaneous dinner invitations to neighbors create unexpected joy
Hiking with friends who remind you to "look up" at mountain majesty
Quilting groups offer wisdom from diverse life experiences
Family traditions like cemetery visits connect us to our heritage and mortality in meaningful ways
The Ripple Effects of Adult Play
When you prioritize purposeful play, the benefits extend far beyond personal enjoyment:
Personal Benefits:
Improved mood and reduced stress
Enhanced capabilities and skills
Greater life satisfaction
Relational Benefits:
Stronger marriages through shared experiences
Deeper friendships built on joy rather than just necessity
Better family dynamics and connection
Professional Benefits:
Enhanced creativity and problem-solving
Improved leadership abilities
Better stress management
Generational Benefits:
Modeling healthy life balance for children
Breaking cycles of overwork and stress
Creating family memories and traditions
The Art of Adaptability: Learning to Bend Without Breaking
Why We Resist Change
Children move from tears to laughter in minutes, adapting with remarkable resilience. Yet as adults, we often resist change with everything we have. We build our lives carefully—our homes, careers, expectations for our children, faith journeys—and when life inevitably disrupts these plans, we often crack under pressure.
The truth is, control is an illusion. It's like trying to hold water in our fingers.
The Willow Tree Principle
Consider the magnificent willow tree. When storms come, mighty oaks sometimes topple completely, breaking under pressure. But graceful willows bend and sway, remaining standing through the fiercest winds.
Our strength isn't in rigidity—it's in responsive flexibility.
The willow doesn't resist the wind; it dances with it. Its power lies not in fighting change but in flowing with it while maintaining deep roots.
Four Practical Steps to Cultivate Adaptability
1. Notice Your Resistance
When change comes, pay attention to your first reactions:
Where do you feel tension in your body?
What thoughts immediately surface?
What fears are driving your responses?
Simply noticing these reactions without judgment is the first step toward choosing a different response.
2. Practice Small Flexibilities
Adaptability is a muscle that strengthens with use. Start small:
Take different routes to familiar places
Try foods outside your usual preferences
Rearrange your morning routine
Say yes to spontaneous invitations
These small practices prepare your heart for bigger adaptations when needed.
3. Hold Plans Loosely
Write your plans in pencil, not permanent ink:
Consider multiple possibilities rather than just one outcome
Prepare without becoming attached to specific results
Look for opportunities hidden within interruptions
4. Learn the Art of the Pivot
When circumstances change, ask yourself:
What remains possible even though my original plan isn't?
What strengths do I bring to this new situation?
Who might help me navigate this change?
What might I learn through adapting?
The Beautiful Transformation
As you practice these principles, you may notice profound changes:
Deeper Trust: Adapting rather than resisting becomes a practice of faith
More Authentic Prayer: Shifting from "fix this, Lord" to "guide me through this"
Greater Compassion: Understanding your own struggle with change softens your heart toward others
Unexpected Joy: Some of life's richest blessings come through situations you initially resisted
Your Invitation to Change
This week, I challenge you to:
Observe the children in your life - Notice their natural play and adaptability
Incorporate purposeful play that invites restoration, enhancement, connection, and perspective
Identify one area of rigidity where God might be inviting you to bend rather than break
Remember: adaptability isn't about being weak or uncertain in your values. Like the willow tree, it's about being strong enough to be flexible, secure enough to embrace change, and wise enough to see God's hand even in unexpected circumstances.
The Choice Is Yours
Adults who integrate purposeful play into their lives don't just survive modern pressures—they thrive within them, creating lives of meaning, connection, and sustainable joy. While children play to become capable adults, adults play to remain fully human in a world that often demands we function like efficient robots.
The invitation is before you: Will you choose the rigid oak or the flexible willow? Will you embrace the transformative power of purposeful play and adaptive living?
Your middle years don't have to be about decline and limitation. They can be about rediscovering joy, building deeper connections, and growing into the emotionally mature, beautifully flexible woman God designed you to be.
This article is based on Episode 156 of the Seasons of Joy podcast with Jill Pack, a certified faith-based life coach. For more insights on creating a joyful life in every season, visit seasons-coaching.com.
Next week's episode will continue exploring the theme of "Childlike vs. Childish" with a focus on communication & presence..
Join My Conversation Project
I'm currently seeking midlife women of faith for meaningful one-on-one conversations about your unique experiences during this important life season. These 30-minute private Zoom calls provide a safe space for you to share your authentic journey—both struggles and strengths—with deep listening and no judgment.
To participate, email me at jill@seasons-coaching.com with the subject line "Conversation Project."
This blog post is based on Episode 154 of the Seasons of Joy podcast with Jill Pack, certified faith-based life coach and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Learn more about it HERE.
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About the Author: Jill Pack is a certified faith-based life + relationship coach and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She helps women of faith navigate their seasons of life with greater purpose and joy. For more resources or to work with Jill, visit www.seasons-coaching.com.
