Episode 148 - Changing Your Questions Changes Everything
Are you a woman of faith who is struggling to navigate your current season of life? Do you feel like life is just happening to you instead of for you? In this powerful guide, certified faith-based life coach Jill Pack shares how the questions you ask yourself might be the most underrated power you possess, and why changing just a few words could completely transform your results.
The Hidden Power of Questions
Wherever you are right now—driving, at the gym, or folding laundry—pause for just five seconds and notice the last question that you asked yourself.
Was it something like:
"Why am I so behind today?"
"What's wrong with me?"
"Why can't I figure this out?"
That question in your head isn't just a passing thought. It's actually programming your brain's GPS and determining exactly where you'll end up.
The questions we ask ourselves are like search queries that we type into the most powerful computer in existence—our minds. And just like any search engine, what we type in determines what results we get back.
How Questions Shape Your Reality
Think about it this way: If I were to ask you, "Why can't you lose weight?" your brain immediately starts generating answers:
"I have no willpower"
"My metabolism is slow"
"I'm too busy to exercise"
But what if instead I asked, "How could making healthier choices become more enjoyable for you?"
Suddenly, your brain shifts directions completely. It begins searching for creative possibilities instead of limitations.
This isn't just positive thinking. It's about understanding how our brains actually work.
The Neuroscience Behind Your Questions
Neuroscience shows us that questions direct our attention. And where our attention goes, neural energy flows. Each question we ask triggers a cascade of thought patterns, emotions, and ultimately actions.
Disempowering questions like "why can't I" or "what's wrong with me" activate our brain's threat response. We literally put ourselves in a defensive position, which narrows our thinking and creativity.
By contrast, empowering questions like "how might I" or "what possibilities exist here" activate the prefrontal cortex—the part of our brain responsible for innovation, problem-solving, and complex thinking.
From Limiting to Liberating: The Question Transformation Framework
Let's explore how to actually begin crafting more quality questions in your daily life with this powerful "From-To" framework:
The first question in each pair assumes limitation, victimhood, or negative self-stories. The second question opens possibilities, assumes growth, and empowers you to take action.
The Strategic Timing of Questions
When you ask questions matters almost as much as what you ask. Here are three strategic timing approaches:
1. Morning Questions
Start your day with questions like:
"What's one thing I could do today that would make everything else a little bit easier?"
"What would make today more meaningful?"
These questions prime your brain to scan for opportunities and purpose before the day even begins.
2. Interruption Questions
When you feel frustration or stress rising, interrupt the pattern with:
"What's another way to see this?"
"What else is true here?"
This creates a critical pause between stimulus and response, giving you space to choose how to show up differently.
3. Evening Reflection Questions
End your day with:
"What went well today that I want to build on?"
"What did I learn today that could help me tomorrow?"
These questions train your brain to identify progress and extract wisdom from your experiences.
Breaking the "Why" Pattern
Many people find themselves stuck in a pattern of asking disempowering "why" questions. Here's how to recognize and transform them in different areas of life:
Work Challenges
Instead of: "Why is this project so overwhelming?"
Try: "How can I break this down into smaller manageable pieces?"
Relationship Tensions
Instead of: "Why doesn't this person appreciate me?"
Try: "What needs might they be trying to meet with their behavior?"
Health Goals
Instead of: "Why do I always fail at staying consistent?"
Try: "What changes to my environment could make my desired habits easier?"
Financial Concerns
Instead of: "Why can I never save enough?"
Try: "Where are the small opportunities to align my spending with my true priorities?"
Creative Blocks
Instead of: "Why can't I come up with anything good?"
Try: "What would I create if I knew I couldn't fail?"
When you're feeling stuck, try shifting from questions that begin with "why" to those that begin with "how," "what," or "where" instead.
The Insight Ladder: A 5-Step Process for Transformative Questions
This powerful five-step process helps you ask more powerful and meaningful questions that lead to action:
Level 1: Awareness (What's happening?)
Simply notice and name your current situation without judgment. Create space between yourself and the experience.
Example question: "What exactly is happening right now? What are the observable facts?"
Level 2: Significance (Why is this important to me?)
Connect with your values and priorities. What makes this situation meaningful rather than just a problem?
Example question: "Why do these deadlines matter to me?"
Level 3: Pattern Recognition (What patterns do I notice?)
Engage your analytical mind to identify recurring themes or cycles. Step out of reactivity into insight.
Example question: "How have I faced similar situations before? What typically happens when I feel this way?"
Level 4: Possibility (What's the opportunity here?)
Expand into possibility thinking. Invite creative reframing to see opportunities where you previously saw only obstacles.
Example question: "How could this challenge actually benefit me? What skills might I develop through this?"
Level 5: Action (What's one action that could create momentum?)
Bridge insight into impact through focused action. Identify the smallest viable step forward.
Example question: "What single action, if taken now, would create positive momentum?"
Applying the Insight Ladder: A Real-World Example
Let's walk through a real-world example of using the Insight Ladder to transform a common frustration:
Initial thought: "I'm terrible with money, and I always will be."
Level 1: Observation
"I've noticed that I've overspent my budget three months in a row, particularly in the dining out category."
Level 2: Significance
"Financial stability would allow me to pursue more meaningful work options and reduce the anxiety that just sticks around in the background of my life."
Level 3: Pattern Recognition
"I tend to use dining out as stress relief after difficult work days, and I rarely check my accounts until after the fact."
Level 4: Possibility
"This could be the catalyst to finally develop a sustainable relationship with money that balances enjoyment and security."
Level 5: Action
"I'll set up automatic alerts when my dining budget reaches 75% so that I have awareness before I overspend."
See how different this outcome is from the initial self-defeating thought? By climbing the Insight Ladder, you've transformed a generalized negative self-judgment into specific insight and an actionable strategy.
Your Question Transformation Challenge
For the next few days, carry a small notebook or use your phone's note app. When you catch yourself feeling stuck, frustrated, or defeated:
Write down the question that's running through your mind in that moment
Deliberately craft a more empowering alternative
Notice how quickly this practice shifts your entire perspective
Conclusion: Your Next Breakthrough Is One Question Away
The questions we choose to ask ourselves aren't just words—they shape our experiences. This isn't about glossing over hard times with forced positivity. It's about recognizing that where we focus determines what we'll see and ultimately what we'll create.
The beauty of the Insight Ladder is that it acknowledges challenges while creating a pathway through them. Your problems don't just disappear, but your relationship to them transforms.
As you navigate the days ahead, remember this simple truth: A thoughtfully crafted question can open doors your mind didn't even know existed. Your next breakthrough might be just one question away.
Want More Clarity?
Are you ready to take it to a deeper level? Jill would love to be your coach!
Click HERE to learn about all the ways you can work together!
Click HERE to schedule a FREE Clarity Conversation with Jill.
Click HERE to check out her FREEBIES!
Click on the following links to learn more about Seasons Coaching and the Seasons of Joy Community Facebook Group.
To contact Jill about speaking to your group or business, email her at jill@seasons-coaching.com.
Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and rate and leave a review! Help spread these tools!
About the Author: Jill Pack is a certified faith-based life coach and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She helps women of faith navigate their seasons of life with greater purpose and joy. For more resources or to work with Jill, visit www.seasons-coaching.com.
